To The Last Time He Raped Me…

The rest of the school year came and went. I was looking forward to summer, but not as much as I ever had before. I had no one but Jed and Grant to spend my time with.  Summer changed nothing except the frequency of our time together at Grant’s house.  I didn’t try to break…

Dear This Isn’t What Love Is…

Everything changed and nothing changed at the same time. Jed walked me around the school, we texted all night long, and on Saturdays we went to Grant’s house. I didn’t smile anymore, I didn’t have class friends anymore because I didn’t speak.  I told no one what happened. In a sick way, I felt closer…

To The End Of My Innocence…

First, if you haven’t read my post warning what the next posts will entail, please read this post first Christmas my freshman year, it was my first Christmas since Jed had taken my innocence. My hands clawed at the side of the chair, as my feet, then ankles, then legs were sinking into the lava below me. …

Dear Innocence Taken Too Soon…

First, if you haven't read my last post warning what the next posts will entail, please read this post first. The first time was also my first time. It was unexpected. It was awful. It shaped the rest of our relationship, and it shaped me for forever.  It had become our typical Saturday tradition. My…

Dear Readers…

The next several posts, and at this point I’m not sure how many posts to be exact, may be triggering for some.  I am going to be talking about sexual assault, domestic abuse (physical and emotional), as well as self harm.  I am going to be open about my experiences for the first time, ever,…