Dear I Never Said Thank You…

The second the bell rang I felt my phone vibrate.  Meet me at my locker.  I loved my cell phone and today, I loved it a little more as it became a life line to one the person I needed. I walked over to his locker not even dropping off my books. I needed to…

Dear What Are You Doing…

It became part of our daily lives, saying I love you. It had been two months and we were fully obsessed with each other. I woke up every morning to a text from him saying, “Good Morning Beautiful” and an immediate smile on my face.  We walked together in the hallways, stealing kisses from each…

Dear Depression…

My mom’s relationship with me had two levels - best friend or public enemy number one.  When I started spending all my weekends at Jake’s house, it just upset her more. She knew how much I loved his family and it drove her crazy because it was clear that I wanted to spend my time…

To The Last Time He Raped Me…

The rest of the school year came and went. I was looking forward to summer, but not as much as I ever had before. I had no one but Jed and Grant to spend my time with.  Summer changed nothing except the frequency of our time together at Grant’s house.  I didn’t try to break…

Dear This Isn’t What Love Is…

Everything changed and nothing changed at the same time. Jed walked me around the school, we texted all night long, and on Saturdays we went to Grant’s house. I didn’t smile anymore, I didn’t have class friends anymore because I didn’t speak.  I told no one what happened. In a sick way, I felt closer…

To The End Of My Innocence…

First, if you haven’t read my post warning what the next posts will entail, please read this post first Christmas my freshman year, it was my first Christmas since Jed had taken my innocence. My hands clawed at the side of the chair, as my feet, then ankles, then legs were sinking into the lava below me. …

Dear Readers…

The next several posts, and at this point I’m not sure how many posts to be exact, may be triggering for some.  I am going to be talking about sexual assault, domestic abuse (physical and emotional), as well as self harm.  I am going to be open about my experiences for the first time, ever,…