After dinner and helping with dishes, Jake and I made our way to the basement to watch a movie, but honestly, it was mostly to cuddle on the couch and make out. We settled on the couch where I laid into his arms and sighed. I was home. 

Trying not to smell like airplane and look cute to see Jake again, but really throwing on jeans and one of my favorite tops was as good as it was going to get.

“I missed you.” I said looking up at him. 

“I missed you too baby.” He gave me a kiss that sent fireworks off in my stomach. 

We sat with each other for a while just enjoying being back together. I felt whole when I was with him. After a while I asked him what he did while I was away. 

“A bunch of nothing really. I hung out with Ryan  (his blonde friend) and Patrick (his brunette friend) a lot. We went to a couple parties but nothing exciting. I spent a lot of time with Jack.” He laughed when he mentioned Jack. 

My stomach lurched at the word parties. I still had not been invited to one and the image running through my mind was drinking, girls, and everything you see in high school movies. I didn’t want to say anything but this is exactly what I feared. Jed’s words came screaming in my head, “I can’t be alone for a week. I won’t do anything if you don’t go, but if you go on the trip, it’s not my fault if something happens.”

I knew it. I shouldn’t have left. I should have stayed. Everything was ruined, tainted, my stomach was in knots and tears started welting in my eyes waiting for him to drop the bomb that he had messed around with another girl. I was angry at myself for ever going. Jed had told me. He told me that if I left he would be with someone else. How different could this situation really be. Sure, they were completely different people, but I was the same. Jake and I had only ever kissed and he was far more popular and cuter than Jed, which only meant that he had more of his pick of girls. This was the consequence of not being at your boyfriend’s side 24/7. I couldn’t help myself no matter how much I didn’t want to be annoying and not trusting, I was bursting trying to settle my stomach and stop the tears from falling down my face. 

“So, who did you cheat on me with?” I almost whispered it as if the fact that I said it softer would have an impact on what he had done.

“What?” Jake was suddenly sitting straight up, moving me off his chest so we were sitting on the couch facing each other. 

“Who did you cheat on me with at the parties? I mean I was gone, so, who was it?”

Jake’s confusion  was palpable. “No one. I didn’t cheat on you. Why would you think that?” There was no anger in his voice, only confusion and question. 

“Well, I was gone for two weeks and you went to parties.” My eyes were swelling with tears waiting for him to tell me it was one of the many girls that were prettier and did more than me. 

“It’s ok, I won’t be mad, I get it. I wasn’t here, it’s fine.” The thought of losing him was too much. Looking into his eyes and back towards the couch I knew that in my gut I wasn’t ready to lose him. I would accept whatever consequences me leaving meant. 

Jake pulled me into a tight hug, my head resting on his chest while his head sat ontop of mine, his arms fully wrapped around me.  

“Tori. I love you. I would never cheat on you. I promise.” 

Unlike Jed, I believed him. I knew he meant it. I kissed him harder than I had ever kissed anyone and sank back into his arms. 

“I love you too.”

2 thoughts on “Dear I Missed You…

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