My weekdays consisted of school where Jed would meet me at my locker and then walk with me to my next class. He was there every moment I wasn’t in class. Just look how much he loved me. He had to be around me all the time. 

I made friends in my classes, but we would only talk in class because the second I was in the hallway it was all of my attention to Jed. Not a great way to make friends, but that didn’t matter. 

I had joined the softball team and loved it. I played first base and had a great throwing arm. It was a blast and I got along with the girls. It was amazing. Mom would pick me up or someone would take me home after practice, there were never any hang outs. Remember, I am not good at making or keeping friends. 

While I was on the softball team, Jed had, as predicted, made the varsity basketball team. He was a freshman on the team and I thought that meant everyone knew who he was, and therefore, who I was. Really, I don’t know that anyone was “aware” of him, but I thought they did, because how could they not?

Me (middle) was loving not only playing softball, but I also got along with the girls on the team, they were my only source of my age interaction that wasn’t Jed. I loved them.

Outside of school and softball practice, I spent my days at my mom’s house watching my little brother, doing homework, and texting Jed. My mom would be home most of the time, but was still going for long and extreme runs where she wouldn’t be home. She would go out with her friends and spend time away from brother and I. If she was home, she was indulging in too many glasses of wine, which meant she would start talking about her relationship with my dad, sexual aspects included. Talking to Jed was an escape, so I did. I talked to him until I feel asleep and texted him the moment I woke up. It felt like us against the world. 

Every weekend Jed and I spent all of our time together. For the most part, we spent our days at one another’s house watching movies and kissing. He would play video games and I would watch. He would text his from Grant and I would sit and wait for him to pay attention to me again because I didn’t have anyone else to talk to. 

Jed’s parents were in the middle of a difficult divorce, his dad was in Ohio and was moving back to Colorado Springs to be close to the family. This was driving Jed’s mom insane and she was coping with lots of wine. Wine seems to be the go to drink of choice for women in Colorado Springs going through a divorce, and it wasn’t in moderation that they were drinking. 

Grant, the mysterious person on the other end of Jake’s phone, had been friends with Jed for years and their mom’s had been friends for longer. Tale as old as time. Parents are friends, so kids are friends. 

Grant lived in Castle Rock, 45 minutes away from Colorado Springs, and they were planning a time to get together, with me included. Very exciting, a new friend. 

Our routine had become simple and my world was tiny. It was Jed and family issues, the idea of a new friend was thrilling.

2 thoughts on “To My New Normal…

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